The Lonely Leader

Managers today are working increasingly longer hours and, as a
consequence, have less time for personal reflection; either on work
or personal-related issues. Hence, an increasing number are
realising the benefits of having someone who they spend time with to
discuss issues and to benefit from experienced, specialist advice
and guidance. In John’s case, being self-employed, his mentor,
albeit a hospitality professional, had no connection with his
business. Yet many organisations, in all sectors, are now setting up
formal mentoring arrangements whereby junior managers can call upon
the guidance of more experienced colleagues from within their
company.

Mentors are not consultants employed to resolve specific issues, nor
are they life coaches whose role is to encourage their client to set
and achieve personal goals. A mentor will act as a sounding board
for their mentee and will walk alongside him or her to encourage
career and personal development. The mentor’s role is to support and
develop; to stimulate and challenge. Having a mentor can help people
who hold a leadership position develop their leadership skills for
their own benefit, as well as for their teams and, hence, their
organisation. Many people have found that the guidance they have
received from a mentor has given them greater confidence in their
jobs which has made a significant impact on their career prospects.

Mentoring has been described as:

`Off-line help from one person to another in making significant
transitions in
knowledge, work and thinking’

Megginson and Clutterbuck 1995

`Off-line’ in this definition refers to a relationship that is not
with one’s line manager. Having someone outside one’s chain of
command is seen as being potentially more beneficial, as it reduces
the risk of conflict and lack of open discussion.

A mentor:mentee relationship should be seen as an on-going, medium-
to-long term arrangement if it is to be of real benefit. It takes
time for each party to get to know the other and, in particular, for
the mentee to gain the necessary confidence to enter open, often
personal, discussions. Confidentiality is the bedrock of a
productive relationship, with the mentor responding to the direction
set by the mentee. Indeed, the junior partner should be encouraged
and empowered to take increasing responsibility for the pace and
direction the continuing discussions take, although the mentor
should also challenge and coax the mentee to identify problem areas.

An open, positive mentoring relationship offers many potential
benefits, including:

• addressing and resolving specific situations associated with the mentee’s role
• building more constructive relationships within the workplace
• clarifying and prioritising work and personal choices
• gaining greater confidence and a feeling of self-worth
• improved career development potential
• developing better leadership skills founded upon greater confidence in the authority that accompanies a leader’s role

It is obvious that if a mentoring relationship is to bear fruit, the
mentee must be, or become, totally at ease with the advisor. There
must be a chemistry between them whereby the mentee has total
confidence in the mentor; whilst the mentor feels able to advise,
direct, challenge and, if need be, constructively criticise the
junior partner in the relationship. The ideal mentor should:

• have appropriate background knowledge - this may not necessarily be sector-specific, but must include a good level of managerial and leadership experience
• be able to build rapport and develop relationships, based upon mutual respect
• have a record of developing and motivating others
• be enthusiastic and interested in the mentee’s role
• be a good communicator; not least a good listener
• not be directly related to the mentee’s current position or chain of command.

A supportive mentor can have a very uplifting effect on a manager
who has the ability but, for whatever reason, needs the
encouragement and guidance from someone who shows faith in him or
her, as evidenced from this comment:

“I was rather under-confident when I took up my current post. I was
newly divorced and had been out of the top flight for a period of
time. I was totally intimidated by the company ethos. My mentor
encouraged me to perform beyond my job description. She would
question my performance, explain my mistakes and advise me how to
perform better. Above all, she gave me confidence. She would say “I
know you have the ability to do it and I know that you will do it”.
Her encouragement and faith in me was a great support and incentive”

Most mentoring relationships include regular, timetabled meetings,
ideally away from the mentee’s direct work environment. The initial
meeting(s) are used to share personal information; address any
concerns about the forthcoming relationship; and identify priorities
and expectations held by both parties. Subsequent meetings, possibly
held every month or so, will become more focussed upon specific
issues as levels of confidence are built.

A fairly recent development, however, has been the increasing
practice of e-mentoring, whereby meetings are largely, or entirely,
replaced by communications over the internet. Whilst it may be more
difficult to develop deeper relationships; and reactions and
interpretations cannot be influenced by reading body language or
verbal nuances, there are some positive benefits to e-mentoring, not
least in combating problems of distance and international time
zones. Moreover, the mentor can spend longer considering issues and
offering advice, whilst the mentee also has more time to reflect on
exchanges. Issues are addressed more promptly than by awaiting a
monthly meeting, whilst discussions can be spread over several days
rather than being confined within, say, a two-hour meeting. Perhaps,
however, the best mentoring arrangement allows for a combination of
face-to-face contact and telephone/email communications.

Yet, how often do leaders allocate substantial resources towards the
training of their staff, whilst giving scant consideration to their
own development needs? A senior position within any organisation
can, indeed, be a lonely and, on some occasions, a cold place. You
may have nobody to share concerns with or bounce ideas off; or you
may feel that seeking guidance from your manager may be interpreted
as a weakness. But you do not have to be a Billy No Mates - consider
the benefits of having a mentor!