The secrets of great communication

Whether you’re the greatest talker in the world or the shyest person in the room, good communication is key to career success. Getting it right, however, isn’t easy — unless you follow our expert advice.

When it comes to communication, most of us think we do a pretty good job. We know what we’re saying and we get it out there … don’t we? And if other people don’t seem to respond well to it, that’s their fault. They’re obviously not listening.

It’s only when you realise that other people “aren’t listening” most of the time, that it might dawn on you that maybe, just maybe, you have a problem. Communication, after all, is supposed to be about conveying and sharing information. If your style of communicating is ineffective, then your messages are getting lost in translation.

“Communication is the imparting of a message and how that message is received — plus feedback on that,” says Kirsten Daly, co-director of Talent Career Group and a specialist in leadership development. “You can’t make assumptions that people automatically understand you.”

Part of the problem is that most of us focus on the “delivery” part of communication — that is, ourselves — and overlook the “receiving” end of things.

Communication styles
“Think of communication styles as how you package a message and how that person unpacks the message,” says Daly. “Think of the package as a present and how you might wrap it for the recipient — you might tie it up in ribbons for some, and dress it more plainly for others.”

Deciding on the “giftwrap” is all about putting yourself in the shoes of the other person when you deliver the message.

“Communication styles — both delivery and receiving — fall into broad categories,” says Daly. “I like to use personality or behavioural types to help understand them. The Myers-Briggs personality assessment is a fundamental tool for helping you to understand your own style — and for learning about others.”

Task-oriented types, for instance, will appreciate a quick message. “Others will need more relationship building within the exchange,” says Daly.
“Extroverts will respond outwardly, even solving problems or coming up with ideas as they are talking. Introverts will process inwardly, sometimes without even facial expression — which can leave you wondering if they’re still with you.”

Sharing your thoughts
To be an effective communicator, you need to understand not only how your personality type leads you to deliver messages but how others will receive them. A task-oriented extrovert may need to temper his or her style when imparting information to a people-focused introvert. It’s not about changing who you are, just about understanding your style and learning how best to share it with others.

“It’s so important to get this right,” says Daly. “These days it’s just as important to have strategic relationships as to be skilled at your job.” She recommends visiting a site such as www.personalitypage.com where, for a small fee, you can take a Myers-Briggs test and also gain free access to an overview of the 16 different personality types.

“Every communication style can be effective, depending on how they’re used,” says Daly. “It’s important to let people know what’s important to you and negotiate your needs. If you need time to think things through, let others know. If people are constantly asking you what’s happening and it drives you mad, arrange a regular meeting so that their needs are also met.”
Secret to good communication
Therefore, he says, measure the quality of your communication by the response that you get to it. “If the response is not what you expect, then it’s up to you to change the outcome,” he says. “Rather than defending yourself or blaming others, go back to that guy and do what it takes to fix it.”